


But Which Part?

by Amanuensis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-25
Updated: 2005-11-25
Packaged: 2018-10-26 11:06:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10785543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amanuensis/pseuds/Amanuensis
Summary: The pairing is the punchline





	But Which Part?

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).

  
Author's notes: For the pervy_werewolf Mini-Challenge: "Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans used as a sex toy.  


* * *

"If you force me to participate--" Snape, the bastard, managed to sound threatening even while remaining firmly ensconced behind his book--"you shall regret it, Potter."  
  
Harry stood his ground. From across the room, Dumbledore was watching him, and his suggestion that Harry engage Snape in the Hallowe'en festivities had been no less than a veiled command.  
  
So he would do it, dammit.  
  
"Take one," he said, as angrily as he dared while still pitching his voice low. "It's a game. Dumbledore wants you to. He took one, and he hates them. Take one of the bloody things--" he pushed the bowl of Every Flavor Beans against Snape's arm, which caused him to lower the book at last, face as disapproving as if Harry were offering him a bowl of slug guts-- "and tell what flavor you got, and let the rest of us get on with the sodding game and the sodding evening."  
  
Snape slapped the book closed. Harry, seeing his face, almost lost his nerve.  
  
And then Snape did something that made it worse.  
  
He smiled.  
  
Reached out, took a bean. Harry watched with a rising feeling of terror as Snape placed it on his tongue, and chewed and swallowed with the deliberation of a monarch's toady checking for poison, the smile never completely leaving his face.  
  
And then pronounced: "Remus Lupin."  
  
Behind him, Harry heard more than one person choke on their drinks. He was sure Remus was one of them.  
  
He damn well hoped Dumbledore was, too.  
  
  
***


End file.
